Social Emotional Developmental Milestones

Welcome to the Developmental Milestones page at Social Emotional Learning. Here, we focus on providing specific social-emotional milestones for toddlerhood, early childhood and middle childhood. Understanding these milestones is crucial for educators and parents to support the healthy development of children.

Toddlerhood Milestones 1-3 Years

As the infant grows and enters toddlerhood, emotions become more complex. The young child feels many emotions with intensity and is now expressing her independence. She expresses her feelings more openly, displaying strong ideas and her wish to make her own decisions. With this newfound independence, toddlers also have a drive for exploration. A key role for parents of children at this age is one of balance: It involves encouraging exploration and choice, while maintaining a presence that ensures the toddler a sense of safety and security (AbilityPath, 2020).

By 1 year, babies:

  •  Are shy or nervous with strangers
  • Cry when mom or dad leave
  • Have favorite things and people
  • Show fear in some situations
  • Hand a book when he wants to hear a story
  •  Repeat sounds or actions to get attention
  • Put out arm or leg to help with dressing
  • Play games such as “peek-a-boo” and “pat-a-cake
  •  Respond to simple spoken requests
  • Use simple gestures, like shaking head “no” or waving
    “bye bye”
  • Make sounds with changes in tone (sounds more like
    speaking
  •  Say “mama” and “dada” and exclamations like “uh-oh!”
  • Try to say words you say                                                                                                                                                             

By 18 months, toddlers:

  • Like to hand things to others to play
  • May have temper tantrums
  • May be afraid of strangers
  •  Show affection to familiar people
  •  Play simple pretend, such as feeding a doll
  • May cling to caregivers in new situations
  • Point to show others something interesting
  • Explore alone but with parent close by
  •  Say several single words
  • Say and shake head “no”
  • Point to show someone what he wants

By 2 -3 years, toddlers:

  • Copy others, especially adults and older children
  • Get excited when with other children
  • Show more and more independence
  • Show defiant behavior (doing what he has been told not to do)
  • Play mainly beside other children, but is beginning to include other children like in chase games
  • Know names of familiar people
  • Play simple make-believe games

Early Childhood Milestones 3-5 Years

By the preschool years, children ‘s feelings, ideas, and expectations of others are more fully developed. Their increasing language skills provide them with a valuable tool for expressing their emotions, managing their feelings of disappointment and aggravation, and resolving conflicts when situations do not go their way. The preschooler is more able to display a wide range of emotions as well as convey empathy for others (AbilityPath, 2020).

By 3 years, preschoolers:

  • Copy adults and friends
  • Show affection for friends without prompting
  • Take turns in games
  • Show concern for crying friend
  • Understand the idea of “mine” and “his” or “hers”
  • Show a wide range of emotions
  • Separate easily from mom and dad
  • May get upset with major changes in routine
  • Dress and undress self
  • Name a friend
  • Carry on a conversation using 2-3 sentences
  • Play make-believe with dolls, animals, and people

By 4 years, preschoolers:

  • Enjoy doing new things
  • Play “mom” and “dad”
  • Is more creative with make-believe play
  • Would rather play with other children than by himself
  • Cooperate with other children
  • Often can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
  • Talk about what she likes and what she is interested in
  • Understand the idea of “same” and “different”
  • Play board or card games

By 5 years, preschoolers:

  • Want to please friends
  • Want to be like friends
  • More likely to agree with rules
  • Like to sing, dance, and act
  •  Show concern and sympathy for others
  • Are aware of gender
  • Can tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
  • Show more independence (for example, may visit a next-door neighbor by himself but adult supervision is still required)
  • Is sometimes demanding and sometimes very
    cooperative

Middle Childhood Milestones 6-12 Years

As kids grow from grade-schoolers to preteens, you can expect many changes from their physical appearances to their favorite activities. Children between 6 and 12 years old will begin valuing friendships and become more involved in activities like sports and/or painting (CHOC - Children’s Hospital of Orange County, 2023).

Between the ages of 5 and 7, school-agers:

  • Develop greater empathy
  • Establish and maintain positive relationships and friendships
  •  Start developing a sense of morality
  •  Control impulsive behavior
  •  Identify and manage emotions
  • Form a positive self-concept and self-esteem (identity formation has begun)
  • Become resilient
  • Begin to function more independently (from looking after person possessions to making decision without needing constant support).
  •  Form opinions about moral values — right and wrong
  • Be able to express an opinion and negotiate
  • Develop greater empathy
  •  Begin understanding different viewpoints
  • Start making more sense of who I am (Who am I like? Wholikes me?)
  • Develop a sense of family history (identity)
  • Grapple with questions about death
  • Accept that parents are not all powerful

Between the ages of 8 and 9, school-agers:

  •  Fit in and be accepted by peers (preoccupied with comparisons — do I fit in?)
  • Have a best friend
  • Strengthen cooperative skills
  •  Adjust to a sexually developing body and handle the agonies of feeling awkward and self-conscious (What will I look like? Do I look normal?)
  • Continue refining a sense of self (fluid and constantly changing)
  • Work out values and beliefs — often passionately adopt an ethical stance
  • Establish independence and individuality (intensely private, wanting alone time, displays of noncompliance at school and home)

Between the ages of 10 and 11, school-agers:

  • Behave appropriately in a variety of social situations
  • Refine communication skills
  • Resolve interpersonal conflicts — understand the difference between passive, assertive and aggressive responses
  • Become more independent and responsible for actions
  •  Value and respect rules and authority
  • Know how to act appropriately and safely in online social world
  • Manage emotional changes accompanying puberty (torn between needing the security of the familiar and craving the unknown)
  • Develop more positive self-esteem and resilience by building strengths and accepting limitations
  •  Acknowledge “who I am” through an optimistic lens

 

(The Ohio State University & U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2014

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